Lord of the Sheep

Once  there  were  many  sheep in my

garden

Now  only  one  is  left.

I  miss  the  times  when  this  house  was  full

of people. There  were 3  to 4  generations

living together sharing  our  joys  and  sorrows,

struggles  and  triumphs,

making  concessions for  one  another,

overlooking  faults  and  failures,

lifting  one another up

and  most  of  all trying to

show  Christ  to  the  world.

Now  I  live alone  here 

but 

 the Good Shepherd  comforts me

in  times  of  confusion

and  restlessness.

When  I  need  counsel and  an

encouraging  good  word ,

which  is  ever  so often,

He sends that too.

When  I  am  wounded  and  bleeding

He  applies  the  balm  of  Gilead

on  the  hurt.

The  challenges  of  my  life

are  great, but  God

will  not  let  me  down.

John 10

So Jesus said to them again, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 All who came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them. 9 I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.





11 “ I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who is not the owner of the sheep, sees the wolf coming, and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and is not concerned about the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, 15 even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. 16 I have other sheep, which are not of this fold; I must bring them also, and they will hear My voice; and they will become one flock with one shepherd. 17 For this reason the Father loves Me, because I lay down My life so that I may take it again. 18 No one has taken it away from Me, but I lay it down on My own initiative. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This commandment I received from My Father
(THE BIBLE)

The  photos  show  the  movie  set  of  The  Lord  of  the Rings  which  has  been turned  into  a  sheep  farm.

Storm Tossed

Since the past few days I have felt like a storm tossed boat dealing with
hurts
hostility
sadness
anger

Mama, Sonia and I have taken a battering
mentally
emotionally
and spiritually.
Our faith is being tested.
Goliath looming large on the horizon is challenging the servants of God. A spirit of strife wants to rip us to pieces.
Sometimes I feel as if I am walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
Please pray for us.

These verses give us courage and strength

Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.

1 Peter 3:9

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1 Peter 1:4-7 (New International Version)
4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
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2fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. 4You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin

(Hebrews 12)

Prayer needed.

I Long For

1. A problem free day
2. Someone to come and take over some of my responsibilities, even for a day or two.
3. That my ailing elderly relatives were problem free. An invalid aunt' s day nurse is giving her problems which is back firing on me. It is causing a lot of stress. This aunt thinks I am a fool . She is a manipulative , controlling person very difficult to deal with. She will depict the kindest person on earth as an ogre. Result - Tension & stress.
4. Cool weather.
5. Someone for moral and physical support. Sonia 's presence is a godsend.
In my worst moments I want to be like Noah' s raven who flew off into the unknown.
But in the middle of all this I have to focus on Romans 12:1
"Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God 's mercy,to offer yourselves (your bodies)as living sacrifices,holy and pleasing to God -which is your spiritual worship."

The problem with LIVING SACRIFICES is that they are alive and want to wriggle off the altar. Please pray that I may stay on the altar ALIVE and KICKING. A dead one is of no use to God.

I got this cute video in my inbox which cheered me up immensely. This little fella is so much like my Jimmy. But Jimmy was long hared and snow white.

GIRL INTERUPPED

Dear Friends, Since April 27th the telephone people snapped my Internet connection, because I was given a new phone number. The did not inform me that I had to go through a long , arduous proceed ure to get my connection restored. (And mind you I am paying for for the services I am not m getting - the jerks)

I will take another week to get my Internet back.I am angry and mad and frustrated will the delay. But have to hold my breath.

I am using a computer shop to create this post. once I have my feet (Internet) I will be back. Holding my breath till then.
Had a crummy week, no internet and sewvere electricity problem

I took pictures of some buildings

on one of my rickshaw rides.
This is a popular hotel.

New buildings are coming up everywhere

A Bank and the Lakme Beauty Salon

The Salon is so expensive that one has to visit the Bank before stepping in.

So its a good idea to have them

in close proximity of each other.

LOL!

A new shopping complex under construction.
The whole day today I was not well.

Had terrible stomach cramps and felt cold and sore.

Seems like some kind of virus.

Sheeba is not used to seeing me laying down

so she was quite curious as to what 's wrong.

She kept pawing and licking me

and kept me company at the foot of the bed.

I am some better now.

The cramps are milder.

But still don 't feel too good.

Oh well, its the change of season!

Dear friends,

Please pray for me. I am not feeling too good.

Dealing with dealing with negativity and hopelessness around me, just suddebnly drained me out.

I am struggling.

Power-ful Grouse

Early morning our lights went out between 3 to 5 am.
Then we had our daily power cut between 10 am to 1 pm
All this in the 100* plus sweltering humid heat.

When the current came back the voltage was so low we could hardly run the fan and the swamp cooler.
The power supply kept fluctuating and blinking like Christmas lights.
All the appliances in the house went clackety clack.
I had to switch off the fridge.
The cooler pump burnt out.
And I could barely run the water pump to re-fill our tank.
I had prepared home made pizza base and sauce to make pizzas for dinner, but could not do so as the oven could not work.
(Sonia made spicy eggs with potatoes, so that was nice)
Our power was restored after 7 pm.
We called an electrician to fix our cooler, which was a relief and the fridge could be turned on.
Mother ate a little, but she is very low and weak and has no appetite.
I feel a spirit of fear and depression has taken hold of her.
Please pray for release.
After a hot, weary and trying day I can say
"We can rejoice too,when we run into problems and trials for we know they are good for us-they help us learn to be patient"
Romans 5:3 (The Living Bible)
Prayers needed for Mother Hazel.

Wade in the Waters

I like the photo above which a friend emailed to me.

This man back bent is wading through dark waters searching for something and what he finds is the reflection of the magnificent Taj Mahal.

Tonight I am heavily burdened.

My mother 's unhappiness causes guilt and distress in me.

I will take her to see a surgeon tomorrow and set a date

for her laproscopy for gall stones.

Mom does not have any pain, her blood work was also clear.

Since the death of 2 close relatives last year and both of

BIL Prem 's parents she 's been on edge and anxious.

My adopted sister Sonia is coming on Saturday (May 9th)

Her presence will be a great comfort and help.

Please pray for my Mother Hazel

The laproscopy

Logistics

Caregiving duties

Financial needs to be met

(we don 't have health insurance)

Someone has to be in the hospital 24 hours.

Protection from the heat

Courage and strength for

Mama, she is quite low.

Anxiety sets off her acidity problem.

That in turn depresses me and makes me guilty.

Its hard to express it.

Although right now I feel I have

swallowed a sackful of hay and its stuck in my throat.

I know that

God is good

He has not left us

We are in the center of His plan.

I will rejoice in Him

and His joy will be my strength

no matter what my brain tells me.

I am not alone in this.

There are millions who are in the

similar situation, or worse.

Thank you for your prayers.
I feel so much better after sharing this.

I can breathe better.

रेड तुएस्दय -Red Confessions

This sari belonged to my younger

sister Namrita, she gave it to me.

Its hand-woven cotton.

We call it hand loom textile.

Its about 25 years old.

Namrita called this morning and talked with mama and me for a long time. She has an Internet connection on her Nokia, but is trying to

get her PC hooked up.

I bought this water melon from the

market today.

My adopted sis, Sonia advised me to always

ask the fruit wala to cut open the melon

and show the inside flesh to make sure its red and juicy.

Otherwise you are left with an unripe, useless one.

I like watermelon with a little salt and pepper sprinkled on it.

Black salt is even better.

Made a bottle of ketchup.

_________

Thank you praying for us friends.

My mother is some better, but has lost her

appetite and this is where the confession part

of this post comes in.

I don 't know about other caregivers

but when my care-givees (charges)

don 't eat properly I get the

caregiver 's frustration virus.

I see my mother so weak and pathetic, when she refuses nutrition I

become

frustrated, impatient and angry too.

I feel like a rusted thorn bush.

A kicked and bruised tin can lying in

a mud puddle.

Can anybody relate to this?

I need help with my

caregiver 's guilt.

I feel like I have screwed up everything.
I feel distressed and dismayed.

Burn Out

In the afternoon I suddenly felt

terribly sick -

Vertigo, nausea,headache and extreme weakness.

As a result of this I could not attend my cousin 's wedding.

It came as a huge disappointment to me -

I had been looking forward to it

and Sonia too.

She also did not go without me.

I 've been going through

a lot of stress these past few days -

Christmas

my aunt 's illness and surgery

hospitality

church affairs etc.

Today my body called the shots
I rested in the afternoon and now

I am feeling better.

But my head feels heavy.

I need a good rest and sleep.

Tomorrow Sonia, Avi and Abner will leave.

We will miss them.

Their visits add colour and life to our lives.

They will travel by road.

Due to heavy fog ,highway visibility

is very low.

Please pray for their journey safety.

_________

My inability to go the wedding made me very blue

but the Lord is teaching me to accept the ups

and downs of life at the beginning of the new year.

His ways are not my ways.

Head Down

Since Sunday night I 've been quite sick. There is swelling on my face and nose with flu like symptoms laced with pain and discomfort.

I went to see my regular Doctor on Monday evening but his clinic was closed, so I went to see my cousin who is a skin specialist. He does all kinds of cosmetic and skin repairing jobs. He put me on anti-biotics.

After that I went to see his wife,who runs a computer training center for girls.In a largely conservative society many parents like to send their daughters to an all-girls institution.

This girl (cousin 's wife) is from a Hindu family and has put her trust in Christ. Now she wants to take official membership of a church.

She is a very loving affectionate person and I chatted with her for sometime and saw their Goa holiday photos and my cousin 's before and after surgery photos. I was very impressed with that.

I made scrambled eggs with tomatoes and onions for dinner which we had with sweet buns.Nice change from the traditional vegetable and bread routine.

This thing is making me very thirsty.Pray I may recover from it soon.

Two Headed

Today I feel like the two headed alien in MIB.Because of my auto sclerosis and my allergy to temperature changes I get severe attacks of vertigo and my head feels heavy and dopey.I got medicines for that.It takes a while to get over it

This afternoon I was taking Aunt S to the bathroom and I nearly fell to the floor , I screamed so loud and quickly sat on the nightstand near the bed otherwise I would have crashed down with Auntie in tow.I still took her to the bathroom , both of us could hardly walk and she says;"There is some ice cream, I am going to eat it." And I said "Yes", thinking I hope I can take the next step. She comes up with disjointed sudden things, part of her dementia.

Later on I laughed about it acting out the whole scene to mama and the maid.I went and bought meds, they are so expensive...my illness is really dear to me. Here were all these people enjoying and buying silly stuff and my purse was getting to my head.

Earlier on I saw on TV that Bollywood actor Sanjay Dutt got bail from the Supreme Court and his fans (I 'm really not one) were rejoicing and distributing sweets.So I said what the heck and bought some black and white rasgullas (Bengali sweets), needed the excuse.

These are a variety of sweets on display. Rasgullas are black or while balls made with milk and flour immersed in sugar syrup.

Please pray for my vertigo to go, I really feel ill when I get this spell.

Dancing Matilda

I got this photo from happylolday.blogspot.com. A blog with fantastic pictures.

Yesterday I played hide and seek with the electricity
danced with the Internet
and wrestled with the computer.

We did not have power supply from 10 am to 7.30 pm. It rained in the afternoon so that was a relief.Should rain some more,its hot and humid.I put on my global warming clothes. I 've recycled old sarees into 2 sleeveless shifts and a shalwar kameez (Indian top and loose pants).I've not worn sleeveless clothes (Mom does) but now I am because the temp. is unbearable and they are so comfortable.

My computer went crazy because of the voltage fluctuation. I called up 2 of my friends but they were at work.So I just banged and pottered around on the keyboard (its also troubling me) and got it fixed up.I had misplaced my last electricity bill receipt which was needed to confirm payments. We searched all day praying desperately and I finally found it late night. God is our very present help. Just when I feel like burying my head in a sand pit He comes to the rescue. 'Endure hardness as good soldier of Jesus Christ ' is sound advice from St Paul in times like these.

ADVICE NEEDED
Aunt Sybil is 84 years old. She is suffering from dementia. Living in the past now.Remembers things from long ago and wants to act accordingly, can 't relate to the present.She is a very sweet tempered, non verbal, frail old lady, a retired school teacher, loves animals and has been a care giver herself.Blind in one eye and has little vision in the other because of glaucoma. She suffers from delusions, sees Sheeba 's puppies...Sheeba never had any puppies. In the evening she wraps a few clothes in a towel and wants to go 'home '. She 's been living with us since the past 25 years.If anyone has faced a similar situation, please tell me how to handle it.I get pretty stressed out at times.I m concerned for her safety. In the afternoon I put a camp bed for her in my bedroom for siesta as she walks around the house and I want to keep an eye on her.I just need to know how other people handle such cases. We try to humour her and joke with her also.

This is the way the cookie crumbles

Got up early in the morning to bake chocolate chip cookies to serve after church this evening. I have to finish all my electricity related chores before 10 am when the power goes off till 1 pm or after. Got everything ready only to discover that my chocolate wouldn 't stay chipped, it melted. I don 't have the correct chocolate, I just bought the ordinary chocolate slab thinking it would work. So I made some iced cookies and some choc. cookies. The chips are missing...cry...cry.I was doing this because the chocolate chip cookies available in the shops are so expensive , I thought I 'd make my own to economize.But this is the way the cookie crumbles.

Reporting sick

Its been very hot since the last 2 days and I 've caught the bug from somewhere. So I 'm down with fever, tummy and body ache and cough. I am allergic to fluctuating temperature. I 've got this rare syndrome (rare makes me feel important-I wouldn 't go in the more common ones) which has affected my sight, hearing, sinuses, auto immune system (arthritis) etc.The Lord has given me tremendous healing and grace. There was a time I had forgotten how to walk.
I am reading a devotional called 'Strong at the broken Places ' by Selwyn Hughes.He writes about 'using ' our problems and trials for the glory of God.One thing I have learnt to discard in my life is self pity.That is the greatest enemy of our souls.

Powerless

Dear friends, We are having innumerable electricity cuts these days. I 'm having difficulty operating my computer. I have to juggle my house chores,take care of my aging Mama and aunt,and Sheeba, cook, entertain visitors,manage church affairs and shop (I don 't drive so I either walk or take a rickshaw} Today is slightly cloudy, so I 'll walk to the Post Office to post some letters which I have been putting off due to the heat. I really wish I could drive or have someone drive me
I have so many things to share with you my friends but at times my hands are tied.I 'll do my best.
My henna job turned out good.Wish I could do this for some of you who would be interested. it works well on dark hair.In India there are scores of chemical hair colors and treatments available (eg. Revlon, L 'Oreal , Garnier etc.) and also herbal ones. Sometimes I do the chem. Actually I don 't have very many grey hair, but it gives you a nice feeling. The herbal products are so much better. We also have salons of all kinds, from the swish internationals to the more homegrown ones. But I am 'Quaker minded '. Why pay for something I can do at home.

Desire

I want to post my photo on my blog, but don 't know how. If my nephew Ash 21 yrs. old doing Buusiness Management in NB were here he would have helped. What should I do?